It's with a heavy heart...
I can't believe I'm typing this.
I haven't been active in the forums for awhile, but I guess now is one of those times to be...
Yesterday when I got home, without even having to say it since I saw the look of sorrow in her face, my mom broke the news to me that my little boy Buster had died while I was gone.
I don't know what was wrong with him. He started showing signs of being sick no more than a week ago. I noticed he was puffy and not as active. He was only interested in eating millet and struggled to eat regular food. 2 days ago he started venturing towards the bottom of the cage. I was hoping he was just going through a bald molt and just needed time to rest, but unfortunately I was wrong. Before I left yesterday morning I left money for my mom to hopefully buy something to aide in his molting, something to put vitamins in their water, etc. But (though I don't know if she ever did purchase anything), it was in vain.
I fully intended to bring him to a vet as soon as I could. I remember Boba going through a similar thing, but he had been sick for about a month before passing...I guess whatever Buster was going through wasn't going to allow that sort of time.
I'm still in disbelief. When I came home yesterday I immediately broke down into tears. I felt horrible that I wasn't there for him in his final moments, not knowing how long his lifeless body was lying by itself (I had separated him from Yuri and put him in a smaller cage during this period of time of him being sick).
I tried to keep him warm, fresh food and water, a quiet area, etc. I really had hoped he was going to make it through his cold or whatever it was...but I guess not.
He was only 2-3 years old (I had him for 2 years, being x amount of months old when I got him). He was always happy and healthy, very social, always singing and bobbing his head, loved interacting with our other budgies, etc.
Now I'm left with Yuri, and she has no real interest in human interaction, and now I fear I will lose her soon too, though she isn't showing signs of being sick. I feel like I must be doing something wrong since it's only 2 years later I lose another bird.
Granted I have gotten my birds at pet stores but I didn't think that would seal their fate. My ex has a budgie (Meeko) that is about 10 years old, and he got her from PetSmart or one of those types of stores...
Regardless, it doesn't matter now, he is gone. I don't know if I will have him buried alongside Boba, or if I will have him buried somewhere else...or possibly even cremated, but it's hard to think about.
I've felt like I'm about to puke at any moment. Sleep has been very hard for me, waking up to hearing Yuri squawking gave me a real uneasy feeling. Knowing she's alone now...and I don't know if it's worth it to get a friend for her...
To say that I'm feeling defeated is an understatement. I'm feeling very hopeless...
Buster was one of the few reasons I kept fighting on with my battle of depression and heartbreak with my other issues in life...and now he's gone. I still love my little girl Yuri, but she is not interested in bonding like that, and I will not break her spirit just to force her to be near me or whatever.
What also hurts is that very few family members and friends have said anything to me about this (since I've posted on Facebook and other sites). I feel like people just ignore it because it's "just a bird", "it happens", etc.
I am feeling very angry at the world for a number of reasons, but losing Buster
has made me feel extremely bitter. Life really isn't fair.
Thanks to anyone who actually reads through this rant.
R.I.P. Boba (8/05/2012)
R.I.P. Buster (11/17/2014)