i am sorry for your loss
i too blame myself for one of my budgies deaths, but it was a freak accident while i was out of the room and i thought the cat was outside. i was going to put him back in the cage, but her was sleeping so peacefully and so i let him be....
I have 8 parakeets, a cat, a rabbit, 2 frogs, 2 newts, about 22 self cloning marbled crayfish, 7 fish tanks, and 2 bettas. my 9 'keets are beyond spoiled with my DIY toys and 2 big trees to play on
Leon - Butch (RIP) - Baby Bird - Pickles - Bowie - Bobby - Leo - Ace - Cheerio