Despite these circumstances, welcome to TB forum- enjoy your stay!
In these 10 years I am budgie owner, I lost several budgies... George, Lino, Peter, Phillip and some of them escaped their cages. I was very sad when I lost them, I can share your pain. After some time I decided to bring new budgies in my home, not to replace the previous ones, but to give them a chance to live in a home, to have everything they need and feel happy. My oldest budgie now is Lina, she is one of my first ones and she is my best friend.
Accidents happen and please don't blame yourself. Until then she was happy in your home. And then you tried to find the doctor for her. Give yourself time to heal and do things that make you happy. When you're ready, you can get a new budgie to live with you. We are with you at this.
Rest in peace, Novi..
budgies are friends for life