I understand that budgies can become depressed if their friend has to go to the rainbow bridge.. I just don't know what to do.. I know these things take time
Kiwi will not come down from the top of the bookshelf.. so quiet and confused. I'm sure it does not help that I am sad and teary eyed. I know she needs extra TLC but she will not even look at me and millet is no longer interesting to her. I have up beat music playing and normally she would chirp along but she just lets out a soft chirp looking for her friend and then I get more sad.. any advice would be amazing.
She is obviously very sad and confused that Aztec is no longer with you. She's going to need some time to adjust and figure out how to cope, but in the meantime, there's a few things you can do for her.
When she's in her cage, just carry her around with you, if possible. Talk to her as much as you can and let her know you're going through the same thing. Right now, the only one who knows how you feel is Kiwi, and the only one who knows how Kiwi feels is you. Let her know that, and soon she will accept that Aztec won't come back and will grieve for her friend.
Give her space right now, unless you're going somewhere right now I think you should just let her sit on top of the bookshelf until bedtime.
For now, that's all you can do. You have my best wishes that time and love will heal you both and restore the sunshine in your hearts when you think of darling Aztec.
and Princess Mallorn!
Thank you to Deb for her wonderful Faery magic
ok thank you. I'm just having a hard time. she was only about 13 months old.. and the worst part is she had normal droppings again. My dad thinks she broke her neck when she started flying around. I cannot help but to blame myself as I had rearranged some of the perches in there.. she never had an issue before but maybe she was not used to it.. and when she flew off her food dish remembered it the old way.. she flew right into a perch and then flapped all around.. it happened so fast all I could do was watch. do I put it back to the way it was? what if kiwi does that too.. shes so mad at me
Your loss is very fresh and new right now.
It's natural you are sad, depressed and teary-eyed.
Grieving the loss of a loved one is a process.
There is no easy way and one must go through it before you can get to the other side.
Allow yourself the tears, the anger and the hurt.
Trying to suppress or ignore them prolongs the journey through the grief.
Grief is a very personal experience and each individual grieves in their own unique way.
Striving to honor death as a part of the cycle of life may not diminish the pain and sorrow we feel when our loved one is no longer with us, yet it can help us accept that birth, life, and death is the way of all creation.
After you've passed through the initial overwhelming sense of loss then it will become important to focus on the positives of the time spent with the beloved person or pet who has moved on in their journey.
Concentrating on gratitude for the blessings given through whatever amount of time one had with their loved one turns emotions away from feeling sorrow for one's self and brings the focus on the joys of the memories we shared.
Although we miss having that person/pet as part of our day to day existence, and the time we had always seems too brief, giving thanks for the time we were given is the first step in healing the pain and sorrow.
If you need to talk, please feel free to send me a Private Message.
You and Kiwi are in my thoughts and prayers.
Lacey, I completely know the feeling you and Kiwi are feeling right now. I only had my 6-ish month old Holly for about 4 months or so, but she made one heck of an impression on us. My Peatri was pretty weird right after she passed, and God knows I was pretty much useless. Peatri loves the color yellow, and being she was a yellow based DEC, he was smitten.
It takes a while, and I know it took Peatri a bit to recover. He's normally a VERY energetic bird who is incredibly outgoing. But after Holly passed, he was like a different bird entirely for a while.
I know it's hard to see it right now, but this intense feeling of sorrow you're suffering with, will pass. Aztec was gorgeous, and she is once again whole, healthy, and most importantly, happy.
After awhile, you too will begin the healing process, and your mind will let slip these intense sad feelings, and bring forth memories of happy, silly times with Aztec. You'll remember that one picture you took of her that captured the very essence of who she was. You'll look at her favorite toy and see her there playing like crazy with it. You'll remember the day she came to you, and how anxious she was, both with nerves running high, and excitement about her next step of her journey.
It's very normal to be depressed during this painful time.
Heck when I lost my cat Mini, I laid curled up on her ottoman for an hour balling my eyes out because she was gone. I am a straight up crazy person when things like this happen around me. I still can't look at the cage the Holly was in that day. Lonny has it stored in a different room so I can't see it. I never had the heart to mess with it after she passed on. It's still as it was. I'll never use it again, but I can't get rid of it.
I guess the purpose of me telling you all that, was to let you know that even if you think you're going crazy with this, you are most definitely not alone.
If you need anything, or just need to talk, or vent, or yell, or go crazy, please feel free to PM me whenever. I'm on several times a day.
Thank you for my wonderful signature Deb!!!
RIP Pepper, Peatri, Holly, Mini, and Quarty
Lacey, I agree with the above posters. Good advice given. Please don't blame yourself in this difficult time. It wasn't your fault. There is no real evidence that says it had anything to do with the perches being rearranged, I bet it wasn't that. You are a great birdie mom Lacey, but Aztec was called to be an angel she is okay now. I believe she might even be there with you and Kiwi . This is extremely depressing and very hard to go through, I do know. I am bawling my eyes out now.
Aw geez, Lacey, I am so sorry. Once again, feeling very sad for you and Kiwi with the recent loss of Aztec.
The members here are giving you some good advice, and to add, I have some ideas in how you can cope with Kiwi. I haven't been able to write about it, yet, but I will take some time in the next day or two to compose my thread on 'loss and budgie depression'. I almost lost my little guy, Zucchini in February to severe depression and I would like to help by adding to the mix of stories and experience here on the forum.
If you can give me a couple of days, I will write a piece for the forum and hopefully some of what I did will help during this grieving process.
Right now, the main thing is to allow yourself to grieve and your birdie. Talk with Kiwi, give attention and love, and speak gently about Aztec letting Kiwi know Aztec is in a place now where she can no longer be with you physically but in spirit. It will take some time. If you decide to play some music, play music that is calming and gentle -- jazz, blues, guitar music -- something zen and at a moderate decibel. Gentleness is key here. All will be well in time and I will share a few other steps and ideas that I tried that worked to bring my depressed budgie back from the brink.
Finding the best way for you to cope with this loss is important right now.
There's nothing right or wrong about how you choose to grieve. If you decide to sit in your PJ's all day and cry- that's good. If you want to take your mind off of it and stay active- that's good too.
Quite a few years ago, we had a dog called Buddy who, like Aztec, was poorly. We took him to the vets, he seemed to get better and then, while I was at work, he got suddenly poorly again and when I got home that day, he was still at the emergency vets.
He never came home from the vets and being only 10 months old, his loss was devastating for us.
I learnt from that it is okay to grieve however you need to grieve. There were tears, memories, walks, talking, whatever it took, whatever we felt like we needed to do. We got some plants and made a little memorial in the garden. We out his picture on top of one of the cupboards and we all wrote a note that we put in the back of the frame with our private thoughts and love we had for him.
And then we took time to heal.
Kiwi too will need to grieve as well. Keep some music or the TV on for her. Talk to her lots but let her sit alone if she's happy sitting there.
Thank you all, your words are so kind. I cried while reading all of them! It is kiwis reaction that really gets me and its just so much harder watching her!!
my parents went to the bird store today and brought home some new toys to keep her mind off things. I cannot wait to put them in!
I do have one question.. she will not move.. she sits at a mirror and stares at herself. If this is how she wants to grieve should I just let it happen? I left it in there because she really loved to play with it with Aztec..
I thought about purchasing something like this and putting some of Aztecs feathers in it.. and hanging it by the window.