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Go Back   Talk Budgies Forums > Budgie Talk > General Budgie Talk > Budgie Behavior


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  #21  
Old 09-07-2018, 11:49 PM
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Originally Posted by StevePackard View Post
I'm not literally going to do that.

I'd like him to behave more like a domesticated animal that likes people or I'd like him to live elsewhere.

I'd be better off with the first. I would like him to change his behavior such that I can enjoy having him live here, in much the same way I enjoy having my dog live here.

I don't expect a bird to be identical to a dog. I'd like to enjoy his company as I do a dog. If he and I can't enjoy being in the same environment, then I'd rather he leave. I don't want to be cruel to him at all. This is just not a pet owning experience that I like. If his behavior does not change then keeping him will require that I increasingly just bit the bullet and have an animal I am not getting any happiness at all out of.

That's not fair to either of us. A pet should make you happy. You never should feel like you're stuck with a pet.

I am willing to have him once I can get his behavior to change. If I can't, then what?

Can you really blame me for the fact that I feel he is a burden with absolutely no return or benefit to me? I did not get him. He came.

If I were not a nice person, I would have gotten rid of him. People get rid of pets all the time because the pet beings them zero happiness. That's not a good thing to do.
Again, you're continuing with the fact that "he doesn't like you". At this point I'm just gonna say that you're never gonna make your budgie "please" you like you want. Pets are not supposed to "please" you. They are supposed to be like your best friend. I'm seriously asking you to please give your budgie to someone that would love them for who they are and not just for what they want them to be. Your budgie is never gonna be the way you want them to be. So if all you're gonna do is force your budgie to "please" you, then you should just give it to someone that would be glad to have someone to bond and be with.

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  #22  
Old 09-07-2018, 11:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StevePackard View Post
I'm not literally going to do that.

I'd like him to behave more like a domesticated animal that likes people or I'd like him to live elsewhere.

I'd be better off with the first. I would like him to change his behavior such that I can enjoy having him live here, in much the same way I enjoy having my dog live here.

I don't expect a bird to be identical to a dog. I'd like to enjoy his company as I do a dog. If he and I can't enjoy being in the same environment, then I'd rather he leave. I don't want to be cruel to him at all. This is just not a pet owning experience that I like. If his behavior does not change then keeping him will require that I increasingly just bit the bullet and have an animal I am not getting any happiness at all out of.

That's not fair to either of us. A pet should make you happy. You never should feel like you're stuck with a pet.

I am willing to have him once I can get his behavior to change. If I can't, then what?

Can you really blame me for the fact that I feel he is a burden with absolutely no return or benefit to me? I did not get him. He came.

If I were not a nice person, I would have gotten rid of him. People get rid of pets all the time because the pet beings them zero happiness. That's not a good thing to do.
Based on everything you keep saying it really seems that you do not want to keep your bird, nor are you motivated to take the time to learn anything about birds and bird behavior.

It's also alarming to me that it seems you have no empathy for an animal that you feel isn't making you happy and that you can't immediately control or change.

From every post you have made, it strikes me most that you are exhibiting *predator behavior* in the presence of a *prey animal* and yet you wonder why your bird is afraid of you.

Please... if you have any compassion for this budgie as a living creature, please find someone who will give him a loving and patient home.
  #23  
Old 09-08-2018, 12:02 AM
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I disagree.

You should not stay married to a person you don't like the company of.

It's not about him "pleasing" me. I dislike having him in my home, so much so that it makes my life significantly less enjoyable and I prefer to leave my house to get away from him because I find his personality so objectionable that it's misserable to share my existence with him. It was okay at first, perhaps for the novelty of it.

I actually like being at work the past couple of weeks.

I feel bad about this in general.

I don't so much have "expectations" of him as I have an expectation that I won't keep an animal that is not like this.

I'd like to say "Look, little guy, I would love to be your friend, but you need to change the way you relate to me, because, as it is now, you're making my life a lot worse than it was before I had you. I get that it's not your fault, but if you can't really change the way you behave, then this is not going to work."

I'd rather modify his behavior. That's what I'd really like to find a way to do.

If this is simply the way birds are, then I'm not sure how much longer I can keep stomaching this.

I feel like a horrible person sometimes for how much I dislike having this animal in my home.
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  #24  
Old 09-08-2018, 12:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StevePackard View Post
I disagree.

You should not stay married to a person you don't like the company of.

It's not about him "pleasing" me. I dislike having him in my home, so much so that it makes my life significantly less enjoyable and I prefer to leave my house to get away from him because I find his personality so objectionable that it's misserable to share my existence with him. It was okay at first, perhaps for the novelty of it.

I actually like being at work the past couple of weeks.

I feel bad about this in general.

I don't so much have "expectations" of him as I have an expectation that I won't keep an animal that is not like this.

I'd like to say "Look, little guy, I would love to be your friend, but you need to change the way you relate to me, because, as it is now, you're making my life a lot worse than it was before I had you. I get that it's not your fault, but if you can't really change the way you behave, then this is not going to work."

I'd rather modify his behavior. That's what I'd really like to find a way to do.

If this is simply the way birds are, then I'm not sure how much longer I can keep stomaching this.

I feel like a horrible person sometimes for how much I dislike having this animal in my home.
I'm seriously speechless, I understand that small things can have effects on your life but... This budgie being scared because of YOU in the first place shouldn't make your life a lot worse. But since it does I kind of think you deserve it for treating him like that in the first place. To be honest the way you think of this poor bird makes me sick. His actions are because of YOU and only YOU.
  #25  
Old 09-08-2018, 12:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noxiousted View Post
At this point I'm just gonna say that you're never gonna make your budgie "please" you like you want. Pets are not supposed to "please" you. They are supposed to be like your best friend.
No relationship should ever be completely one-sided.

Yeah, pets are supposed to be your best friend. Could you be best friends with someone you objected to the company of? I doubt it.

still, he's a little animal and he landed here. I just want him to stop making me dislike even being in my own home. He could, but his behavior must change.

If that is not what he will do, okay. Fine. That's how birds are? Then I'm not a bird person.

I'd like to make this work.

And I've never been cruel to the little guy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noxiousted View Post
But since it does I kind of think you deserve it for treating him like that in the first place. To be honest the way you think of this poor bird makes me sick. His actions are because of YOU and only YOU.
Did you miss the part about him landing in my yard and me just not knowing what to do with him?

Some people don't get along with animals. That's not bad. That's not wrong with them.

I have tried harder than you can imagine to accommodate this bird into my home.

But his behavior must change.

I will be nice to him. I never yelled at him. I never reprimanded him. I never denied him food. Every day I go to his cage and gently talk to him and put my hand in with a treat. I don't rush him. I don't do anything like that.

You really make it sound like I am cruel or not trying.

Many people would have left the bird in the yard. I tried very very hard to live with him.

Last edited by FaeryBee; 09-08-2018 at 10:54 AM.
  #26  
Old 09-08-2018, 12:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StevePackard View Post
Did you miss the part about him landing in my yard and me just not knowing what to do with him?

Some people don't get along with animals. That's not bad. That's not wrong with them.

I have tried harder than you can imagine to accommodate this bird into my home.

But his behavior must change.

I will be nice to him. I never yelled at him. I never reprimanded him. I never denied him food. Every day I go to his cage and gently talk to him and put my hand in with a treat. I don't rush him. I don't do anything like that.

You really make it sound like I am cruel or not trying.

Many people would have left the bird in the yard. I tried very very hard to live with him.
I'm talking about the way you're treating him emotionally. I understand that are you taking care of him physically but you're definitely not caring for him emotionally.
  #27  
Old 09-08-2018, 12:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StevePackard View Post
I disagree.

You should not stay married to a person you don't like the company of.

It's not about him "pleasing" me. I dislike having him in my home, so much so that it makes my life significantly less enjoyable and I prefer to leave my house to get away from him because I find his personality so objectionable that it's misserable to share my existence with him. It was okay at first, perhaps for the novelty of it.

I actually like being at work the past couple of weeks.

I feel bad about this in general.

I don't so much have "expectations" of him as I have an expectation that I won't keep an animal that is not like this.

I'd like to say "Look, little guy, I would love to be your friend, but you need to change the way you relate to me, because, as it is now, you're making my life a lot worse than it was before I had you. I get that it's not your fault, but if you can't really change the way you behave, then this is not going to work."

I'd rather modify his behavior. That's what I'd really like to find a way to do.

If this is simply the way birds are, then I'm not sure how much longer I can keep stomaching this.

I feel like a horrible person sometimes for how much I dislike having this animal in my home.

I really can't imagine how a person who works or worked with animals can behave the way you are.

Your behavior needs modification if you want to take care of a bird. You have unreasonable expectations.

You talk about feeling bad about disliking him, but I don't see any willingness to learn about birds from anything you've said on this thread.

The environment you describe is toxic for the bird, and if you're really that unhappy about the fact that he's not doing what you think he should be doing, yet you're unwilling to do anything to get the instant gratification fix it seems you want, then rehoming would be best for both of you.

I don't have anything else constructive to add to this thread.
  #28  
Old 09-08-2018, 12:29 AM
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You keep talking about having this bird is making you unhappy. Many of us have recommended rehoming. This is the best thing to do for both you and the bird.
  #29  
Old 09-08-2018, 05:32 AM
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Hi Steve

If you have genuinely only acted with care with this bird, despite your feelings, then I guess we should be saying a big thank you for rescuing this bird and investing time & money in its care. If you didn’t care about animals then you would have left this thread before now.

I do however think that perhaps your pride in your history of animal welfare is getting the better of you. Perhaps you’re just not a ‘bird person’ ? It’s okay to rehome this bird!

In general, the parrot species is very emotionally sensitive and not domesticated to the level of most common pets. Very subtle changes can ‘freak out’ a pet bird. You’d need to be a very good actor to disguise the fact that you think the bird a nuisance. On top of that, they can also go through a stroppy ‘teenage’ phase when they decide they’re calling the shots and with birds, we don’t assert dominance, we’ve just got to respect their limits. Female birds can also become more difficult when in breeding condition. So, there may be more than the spray bottle incident going on here.

There is certainly a chance that your budgie will become friendly again, but in all honesty, after all that has been written, I don’t think you’d really be happy long term with that either. Budgies are flock animals. In the wild they are constantly around their flock mates. If this budgie’s flock is you, he/she will want to be constantly around you, and you will find that tiresome. That’s fine, it’s okay to say that, you didn’t decide to purchase this pet.

Don’t view this as a failure, instead view this budgie as a rescue & rehoming project.
Rehome the bird and enjoy your dogs!
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  #30  
Old 09-08-2018, 11:07 AM
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I have bitten the bullet and taken care of, as best as I can, an animal I really did not want.

He came here and I hate the way he acts. I hate the way he relates to me. Fear? Anger? Whatever it is, it's destroyed our relationship as a pet and pet owner. If nothing else, it hurts my feelings for how hard i've tried.

Still, every day I talk gently to him and give him food. I change his water daily. I give him vitamin drops.


So I want to keep him which comes down to the crux of this whole thing: IS behavior modification and conditioning an option?

It sounds like it's not. Many animals can be rehabilitated. Not just dogs.

But I guess he can't, or it will take months.

Because of this, I have decided he can no longer stay here. I dislike having him in my home too much and regret he did not behave in a manner that would let me live a peaceful life with him.

My plan now is to find a new local home for him. I'll take my time about it, because giving away animals for free is dangerous and it is critical that the home be investigated and assured to be safe.

I'm deeply regretful to learn that you can't apply behavior modification to make a bird tolerable. I hope someone else will.

I did my part to help this guy (not that he'll ever care)

I'd like this thread (Where I am repeatedly told I am coming at him like a predator or think he should be euthanized) removed.

I'll definitely never buy a bird.
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