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Go Back   Talk Budgies Forums > Budgie Talk > General Budgie Talk > Budgie Behavior


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Old 09-07-2018, 07:44 PM
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Default I can't get why my bird went from loving me to hating me

I have a parakeet. I never really asked for one. I got one when he showed up on my lawn. He as exceptionally friendly. I put my finger out and he jumped onto it. I don't know a thing about birds, but there he was. He was right there, at my place. So I let him in and I got a cage and food and toys. I did my best to find his original owner. No luck. Called ACT, posted to lost pets groups. No luck.

He was really nervous the first few days, but that's understandable. He would still jump onto my finger, but within a few days he really stared to like m like crazy. He followed me around the place. I'd open the cage door and he'd jump out and fly to me. It was getting to the point where it was annoying, but it was nice that he liked me. I had to sometimes put him back in when he wanted to be with me, because I needed to cook or something. He would always fly at my plates of food and try to eat it. I'd sometimes have to shoo him off to eat.

Okay, then the day everything changed....

About a week into our relationship I did something I guess i should not have. I saw parakeets on youtube enjoying a shower, so I sprayed him with water. I thought he would like it. Wrong. He HATED it. He squawked and flew away.

After that, I ended up spending almost an hour trying to catch him, because I had to go out and I need him in the cage when I go out. I have a dog, and I can't leave them both loose. It's not safe. The dog is very gentle, but he might hurt him. So that's what we did.... an hour of squawking and flying until I tired him out and put him in the cage. It as necessary.

The next day, I tried to take him out. I thought he'd be over it. He wasn't. Maybe I tried to hard to handle him (because I was used to him liking it) but he would have none of it.

Like I said, that was a month ago.

So I have tried very hard to get him to like me again. NOPE. He won't. After trying to handle him for a few days, I realized he really hated me, so I tried to start over again. I would put my hand near the cage (he hates it, he will move away, even after days) I try to touch him. He moves to another pirch. Sometimes I can, be I feel him shake. He tweets and I get near him and I he stops. He does not want to come out of the cage.

I tried coaxing him out. Sometimes he will come out. I can entice him out with millet. But, he still won't come near me. I try to go near him and he flis away. He really hates me. I try to pick him up, and he resists. This is a 180 degree turn from how he was. He was the friendliest bird until this incident, and that's all I can think of.

What can I do.

After a month, I have to be honest, I am starting to really really dislike this bird. Yes, I know he is an animal, but I have worked with dogs my whole life and dogs are very appreciative animals. You give a dog food and treat it well and the dog quickly shows you that it is grateful for your kindness.

This bird, on the other hand... it's hard for me to not dislike him. I'm being honest, I know he is an animal, but I subjectively, don't like sharing my home with him and feeding him because he's such an ungrateful, spiteful, POS.

No I'm not mean to him over it. I still try to be nice. I know someone will condemn me for it, and again, yes, I know he is an animal, and you can't reason with them. But if he hates me (and I really think it is over this incident, because that was the 180 degree turn) then I don't see why I should go out of my way to help him.

It's hard for me to like an animal who shows such hatred toward me.

Again, I am used to dogs: good, grateful animals who care when you are nice to them.

I'm sorry if the tone if this is judgemental of an animal, but listen, little bird, I was really really nice to take you in and drop about 200 dollars on toys, a cage and food, a water dish.

He really really won't come around? I've tried for a month to be really nice to him. He still flies away from me, moves away from me does not like me coming near him.

My feelings are mixed: on one hand, I feel bad that he went from liking me to hating me. On the other hand... I want to put him back on the lawn and see how he likes it.

But seriously, if he does not start liking me, then I see no point in him living here. Since he stopped liking me, I've redoubled my effort to find his original owner.

No, he is not human and you can't reason with him. A dog would never ever hold such a grudge.

So what can I do? if anything?

I have heard that a single impression can impact a bird for their whole life. I'm thinking that's what happened here. That one time I sprayed him and he turns on me completely.

Et tu bird?

I'd like him to like me again. If not, I'm not sure what to do with him.

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Old 09-07-2018, 08:18 PM
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You cannot expect a bird to act like a dog, they are completely different. He doesn't hate you, he is scared. I suggest you go right back to the beginning with taming him.

It's not really fair for you to be angry at an animal simply because they are not acting the way you want. When you bring an animal into your home it is your responsibility to give them the care they need. They shouldn't have to earn it.

If you aren't willing to put in the time to work with him at his own pace and aren't willing to care for him simply because he's not acting the way you want then perhaps you should re-home him to someone who will.
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Old 09-07-2018, 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted by iHeartPieds View Post
You cannot expect a bird to act like a dog, they are completely different. He doesn't hate you, he is scared. I suggest you go right back to the beginning with taming him.

It's not really fair for you to be angry at an animal simply because they are not acting the way you want. When you bring an animal into your home it is your responsibility to give them the care they need. They shouldn't have to earn it.

If you aren't willing to put in the time to work with him at his own pace and aren't willing to care for him simply because he's not acting the way you want then perhaps you should re-home him to someone who will.
Yeah I get that, but like I said, it's not like I am being bad to him over it. I just no longer enjoy his company.

The idea that an animal is not human is valid, and no, you can't reason with animals. But I think I understand that animals have an inate sense of gratitude. In my life I have worked over 1000 hours at animal shelters, so I'm not a person who does not take compassion in animals.

I have taken many formal classes in dog training and driven dogs hundreds of miles to get to new homes. And, no, it's not just dogs. In my hours at shelters I have spent time tending to cats, rabbits and even a raccoon with a broken leg. Wild animals don't like being around humans, but even the raccoon had a sense of thankfulness to her. She wanted to be left alone, but after we fed and took care of her, you could tell, just on how she acted toward us, that she had some level of understanding that we were doing something for her.

So yes, dogs, rabbits, cats, raccoons... Animals don;t have our logical brains, but they understand compassion. They understand when we are taking care of them.

Well.... except this one.

I didn't "take him into my home." I pretty much ended up with him. Since I'm not a bad person, I was not going to just put him out. I took him in because circumstances demanded it. And he was nice, just like all those other animals... at first.

If a dog ever behaved like this, with an absolute refusal to bond with a human no matter how much kindness we showed it, we would have had to euthanize it. In fact, I saw that happen. An animal that just refuses to ever tolerate a human, regardless of weeks of conditioning, simply can't be put in a human home. They are unhomable. Sometimes you can rehabilitate them. Sometimes you can't.

I would like to make this bird receptive to humans. But honestly, if he keeps holding it against me that I did this one bad thing and chased him around, then he's just... not an animal who can ever live with a human.

Looking back, I am wondering why I kept him. I could have given him to the animal control officer. The thing is this: the animal control officer told me that the department had limited experience caring for and rehoming birds. I simply did not see another option other than keeping him.
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Old 09-07-2018, 08:37 PM
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Once again you are comparing birds to dogs. Just because a bird doesn't want to spend time with you, doesn't mean it can't live in your home. Many people have untamed birds who are very happy and have their own bird companions.

Given the attitude you seem to have towards this bird, I think it would be best if you rehomed him.
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Old 09-07-2018, 08:41 PM
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Instead of spraying your budgie with water, you should try introducing them to the water first. I started off by putting Trickee near running water and then later put him closer to it. I put him closer to it until he was able to feel the water. He hesitated at first but sat there and tried to understand that the water wouldn't hurt him. He still doesn't necessarily enjoy being in the water but he still knows that it won't hurt him. By spraying your budgie you scared it into thinking you were gonna hurt it. Imagine sitting and looking at this huge being spraying you with something, that's exactly how they feel. Also, this small thing doesn't affect your relationship forever. You have to earn your budgie's trust back by showing them you aren't a predator. I've messed up with Trickee a few times and he has slowly overtime forgived me. Lastly, like iHeartPieds said, they are nothing like dogs and should NEVER be treated like dogs. Seeing as you have a dog that's the way you see your budgie. They take A LOT more time than a dog. Dogs can easily just accept their new home and their owners. But birds take months to years to be able to completely bond with. I recommended you seriously try to get your budgie's trust back or you give the budgie to someone that can seriously understand and care for your budgie.
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Old 09-07-2018, 08:57 PM
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I sprayed him with water because I was trying to do what I saw others doing. My first experience with a bird. I only tried to do best. I understand that he did not like it. It was a mistake to spray him with water. Still, that was one incident. Holding a grudge for a month seems excessive.

I don't "see him as a dog" I just want him to be a nice animal toward people, and if he can't then he can't live with people.

I have ever effort to make up with him.

I would not have him if not for the fact that my town animal control officer said "um... well, our department does not handle birds too often. We can take him if you really want, but um... yeah... our department pretty much never handles birds."

I felt obligated to take the bird in for lack of other options. And I was fine with that, I actually began to like him. And I still don't *dislike* him.

I think he is being totally unreasonable.

Yeah, I know "how can you call an animal unreasonable" Well, because every other animal I have taken care of hasn't held a grudge like this. Dogs did not. Cats did not. rabbits did not. Even raccoons didn't.
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Old 09-07-2018, 09:04 PM
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Originally Posted by StevePackard View Post
I sprayed him with water because I was trying to do what I saw others doing. My first experience with a bird. I only tried to do best. I understand that he did not like it. It was a mistake to spray him with water. Still, that was one incident. Holding a grudge for a month seems excessive.

I don't "see him as a dog" I just want him to be a nice animal toward people, and if he can't then he can't live with people.

I have ever effort to make up with him.

I would not have him if not for the fact that my town animal control officer said "um... well, our department does not handle birds too often. We can take him if you really want, but um... yeah... our department pretty much never handles birds."

I felt obligated to take the bird in for lack of other options. And I was fine with that, I actually began to like him. And I still don't *dislike* him.

I think he is being totally unreasonable.

Yeah, I know "how can you call an animal unreasonable" Well, because every other animal I have taken care of hasn't held a grudge like this. Dogs did not. Cats did not. rabbits did not. Even raccoons didn't.

He's not holding a grudge. He is scared. It can take weeks, months or years to earn a birds trust. Again he doesn't need to be "nice to people" in order to live with people. He isn't aggressive is he? Then there's no issue with him living with people.
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Old 09-07-2018, 09:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StevePackard View Post
I sprayed him with water because I was trying to do what I saw others doing. My first experience with a bird. I only tried to do best. I understand that he did not like it. It was a mistake to spray him with water. Still, that was one incident. Holding a grudge for a month seems excessive.

I don't "see him as a dog" I just want him to be a nice animal toward people, and if he can't then he can't live with people.

I have ever effort to make up with him.

I would not have him if not for the fact that my town animal control officer said "um... well, our department does not handle birds too often. We can take him if you really want, but um... yeah... our department pretty much never handles birds."

I felt obligated to take the bird in for lack of other options. And I was fine with that, I actually began to like him. And I still don't *dislike* him.

I think he is being totally unreasonable.

Yeah, I know "how can you call an animal unreasonable" Well, because every other animal I have taken care of hasn't held a grudge like this. Dogs did not. Cats did not. rabbits did not. Even raccoons didn't.
Just because you see others do it doesn't mean you should do it. There are still people in this world that are promoting *bad* budgie care. Such as the wrong things to do. You could have also seen someone do this with a tamed budgie that understands. And you can't force him to be nice to people especially because of how non-understanding you sound. And he is NOT being totally unreasonable in this situation you are. I seriously recommended finding a place for your budgie to go thats safe. Because you don't understand that they are NOT like other animals. Also, your budgie wasn't put on this earth to please you and spend time with you and like you. Most likely if you keep having the attitude that you have towards your budgie it will become aggressive and take even longer to bond with.

Last edited by Noxiousted; 09-07-2018 at 09:27 PM.
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Old 09-07-2018, 09:32 PM
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From what I've read of your posts in this thread, it sounds to me like the best thing for your budgie would be for you to rehome him to someone who can love him for exactly what he is.

Budgies do not "hate" nor do they hold a "grudge".
They are easily scared and are very timid animals.
It takes a great deal of time and patience to earn a budgie's trust.
Once that trust is broken, then it us up to the owner to spend the time regaining it, no matter how long that may take.
You as the owner have an obligation to adjust your expectations and behavior to meet the budgie's needs, not the other way around.
If you are unable to do that then you can not be a responsible budgie owner.

As it sounds as though you have no desire to do adjust your behavior and expectations, then look for someone who can give this little bird the love, time, care and attention it deserves.
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Old 09-07-2018, 09:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noxiousted View Post
Just because you see others do it doesn't mean you should do it. There are still people in this world that are promoting *bad* budgie care. Such as the wrong things to do. You could have also seen someone do this with a tamed budgie that understands. And you can't force him to be nice to people especially because of how non-understanding you sound. And he is NOT being totally unreasonable in this situation you are. I seriously recommended finding a place for your budgie to go thats safe. Because you don't understand that they are NOT like other animals. Also, your budgie wasn't put on this earth to please you and spend time with you and like you. Most likely if you keep having the attitude that you have towards your budgie it will become aggressive and take even longer to bond with.
Again, whether or not it was "bad" to spray him with water isn't really material to this; I admitted it was a mistake. I did the best I could, with a totally new bird, that I didn't especially want. It was one incident. One incident. He didn't like it. Okay, sorry. Seriously, sorry. I'm sorry I sprayed him. I took one piece of bad advice.

I honestly *do* want to rehabilitate him. I have rehabilitated hundreds of dogs in my day and while I know that the techniques between dogs and birds are different I am willing to learn the difference.

Okay, so you can't rehabilitate a bird like you do a dog? That's okay. I'll do it differently.

Animals are different. That's absolutely true. The techniques that work on one species won't work on another.

Still, some things hold true, and I've learned this the hard way: An animal that hates people can't live in a human household. I have seen dogs and cats put down because, despite weeks of effort, shelter staff simply could not get them to be receptive to humans.

I don't want that to happen to him. That's exactly why I am asking how to rehabilitate him from this one incident.

An animal, however, has to have it in them to bond with people or they can't be a pet. They just can't.
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