Ah it has been a stressful few months. My one budgie began having some difficulties but with multiple vets (avian) help and multiple treatments he just did not improve. Yesterday I began to see a big difference in him (he was sitting in the corner of the cage and sleeping and although he hasn't been right for months he has still been eating, active, etc) and for the last few days I had began thinking maybe we've done all we can do. I want on the phone to my mum in tears telling her that I have decided to take him in the morning to end his suffering. Not at all what I wanted but it was the kindest thing to do for him. Then he became much worse. I panicked and called my vets and they said to bring him in right away - it was almost their closing time. The vet agreed with me that it was his time to go. So, he was put to sleep and I am getting his ashes next week as I want him to be in the house with my other bird - as silly as that may sound. That is my concern now. The two of them have been together for almost 5 years since they were born, they've always got on so well, feed one another, groom one another, etc. They have been separated due to not knowing if Oscar could catch what Joey had. They seemed to cope okay apart but they could still hear one another. It broke my heart separating them. And I so wanted them to be able to say goodbye to one another. Ugh. I feel that Oscar can sense something is going on but he is okay. He's eating, chatting, etc. I just start crying as soon as I look at him because I can't explain to him where Joey is or anything. I am worried he may begin to miss him over time and may begin feather pulling or becoming depressed. I'm worried he may get lonely, espcially while I am at work. I was always happy that they had one another while I wasn't home. I obviously will still spend time with him but it may not be enough. I don't feel that Oscar would want a new bird companion. I know that sounds weird. If it was Joey I would consider it more. I would feel more confident had Oscar gone first, just due to their personalities. Maybe he will cope, I don't know. I just worry so much that I won't be able to stop him feeling lonely no matter what I do. Do you think he may understand what is happening (that Joey has died)? Or just have no clue? I also don't feel that I want another bird. I have lost a few pets in the past few years and my heart hurts. I feel that after Oscar I will not get any more, at least for some time. I just wondered if anyone has been here and can offer any advice to help my bird through this. Thank you.
I'm very sorry for your loss of little Joey.
Try to keep in mind that he is now no longer in pain nor is he suffering. He is happily playing at the Rainbow Bridge, whole, healthy and content.
Oscar is going to be confused for awhile.
The best thing you can do is be calm and relaxed when you interact with him.
You need to be strong when you are with him as birds pick up on our emotions and if you are continually upset, you will upset Oscar as well. Spend time with Oscar reading, singing and talking to him.
You are his flock now and it would be best if you can establish a regular and consistent routine of spending a specific amount of time with him each day.
Many budgies are quite happy as solo birds and you are going to need to give Oscar a few weeks to adjust to the "new normal" in his life.
It is because of Love we Grieve
Because of Love we are also comforted
in our Sorrow
In Memories, may you find Healing
In Time, may you find Peace
In the Power of Love, may you find Comfort
Fly high and soar freely sweet Joey; rest peacefully now wee man.
I’m very sorry for your loss of Joey. It’s always such a hard and sad decision, but often times it’s the best one.
Birds are incredibly resilient. It’s normal for Oscar to be mourning the loss of his friend at this time. He will get past it when he’s ready. Usually within several weeks, if not much sooner.
Many times, budgies are fine on their own afterwards, and will adjust to the single life if given enough things to do in a spacious cage. Give it some time to determine if you’d like another budgie when both you and Oscar are ready. If you do, make sure to observe the rules of quarantine. Take care.
Thank you both for such lovely messages. I have been able to not be so upset around Oscar now - I do think he was aware of me being upset, but I just couldn't stop it flowing. I have coped better partly as it was so soon after Joey's passing when I posted this message (still is, and I miss him like crazy and have my moments - of course, but try not to around Oscar), but also because Oscar has been fine so that makes me feel better for him. He is his normal self. I have been doing the normal stuff I would do with the both of them as well as making sure to spend extra time with him. I have also been putting on the tv or some music when I go shower and such - not always but just now and then so he has some noise which would normally be Joey chatting to him and such, if that makes sense. I didn't have work until today, so that gave me a couple days to be with him and focus on him. He has coped well while I was at work today it seems. So, in a way, he really has helped me through this. He's doing so well. He may be wondering where Joey is, but he really is just his normal self. So that makes me worry less. I think he has coped better than me - as they usually do!
Thank you again, much appreciated.
Last edited by joeyandoscar; 09-07-2018 at 06:12 PM.
I'm glad to hear Oscar is doing well so far.
That's a very good sign.
As time progresses, your memories of Joey will bring you comfort rather than pain.
Feel free to send me a Private Message if you want to talk.