Storytime! Story Thread - Talk Budgies Forums


User Menu
Forum Home
Budgie Gallery
Budgie FAQ
Site Guidelines
How-To-Guide
Members List
Today's Posts
Log In
Register now!
Search



Advanced Search
Popular Forums
Announcements

Budgie Articles

Budgie Talk

Budgie Pictures

Budgie Videos

Budgie Behavior

Determining Gender

Your Budgie's Health

Taming and Bonding

Budgie Breeding

In Memory

Other Birds

Contests

Chit Chat

Site Information

Talk Network
Talk Budgies
Talk Cockatiels
Talk Parrotlets
Talk Parrots
Sponsored Ads

Go Back   Talk Budgies Forums > Off Topic > Lighthearted and Upbeat Chit Chat Only


Lighthearted and Upbeat Chit Chat Only Lighthearted Topics ONLY are to be adddressed here. Topics such as religion, politics and any personal problems or issues should be discussed privately, or on other Social Media, NOT on the Talk Budgies forums.

Closed Thread
 
Short URL LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 12-01-2015, 06:26 PM
Alybun's Avatar
Alybun (Noelle)
Egg
 
Profile:Alybun is offline
Gender:
Number of Budgies: 6
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Enthusiast
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 93
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 103
Rep Power: 6
Alybun will become famous soon enoughAlybun will become famous soon enough
Smile Storytime! Story Thread



A little budgie opens his eyes for the first time and barely sees his mom through the dark. "Peep peep!" he cries out and his mom cradles him against her chest.

"Rest now little one, there's a storm outside of the box."
"Why can't I stay up?" he counters.
"Because I love you and you need your rest." She adds as he falls swiftly asleep.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It is the first day of leaving the nest and he leaves last. His siblings take their first quick flights and leave. Are they going to just leave mommy like that? he thought. Fluttering clumsily toward the nest he peers in. His mom is still in there sobbing over letting her babies go.

"Mom?" he asks worried.
"OH you should have left by now! why did you stay? Hurry now! Leave!"
his mom says through tears.
"NO!" he disobeys.
"I'm not leaving!" he demands.
"Not without you!" lastly added.
His mom rushes toward him with the best smile a creature with a beak could muster. She tells him she loves him only now he finally realizes more than ever that he loves her too. They fly off in the unique patterns the budgie flies in. Not as an individual, but as a whole.

This is my first story and PLEASE tell me what you did or did not like about it and if I should continue!!!


Last edited by Alybun; 12-03-2015 at 07:57 PM.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2  
Old 12-01-2015, 07:09 PM
StarlingWings's Avatar
Super Moderator // MEMBER OF THE YEAR 2015


 
Profile:StarlingWings is offline
Gender:
Number of Budgies: 1
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Lover
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 17,479
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 12055
Rep Power: 37
StarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Aww, how very sweet

I loved it, very nice
__________________

~StarlingWings~
and Princess Mallorn!
Thank you to Deb for her wonderful Faery magic
  #3  
Old 12-01-2015, 07:29 PM
Alybun's Avatar
Alybun (Noelle)
Egg
 
Profile:Alybun is offline
Gender:
Number of Budgies: 6
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Enthusiast
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 93
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 103
Rep Power: 6
Alybun will become famous soon enoughAlybun will become famous soon enough
Lightbulb Oh thank you!!!

Thank you!!! I have something to show my appreciation!




and..




I hope you like it.. looks better in-person.

Last edited by Alybun; 12-01-2015 at 08:26 PM.
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #4  
Old 12-01-2015, 09:45 PM
StarlingWings's Avatar
Super Moderator // MEMBER OF THE YEAR 2015


 
Profile:StarlingWings is offline
Gender:
Number of Budgies: 1
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Lover
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 17,479
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 12055
Rep Power: 37
StarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond reputeStarlingWings has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alybun View Post
Thank you!!! I have something to show my appreciation!

I hope you like it.. looks better in-person.
Noelle,

It's Princess Mallorn! I love it and it means so much to me that you would take the time to draw a picture Thank you! Karma for your efforts and I'd love to read your stories anytime
__________________

~StarlingWings~
and Princess Mallorn!
Thank you to Deb for her wonderful Faery magic
  #5  
Old 12-01-2015, 10:02 PM
SeaToSky2432's Avatar
SeaToSky2432 (James)
Egg
State:
 
Profile:SeaToSky2432 is offline
Gender:
Number of Budgies: 4
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Owner
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 56
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 112
Rep Power: 6
SeaToSky2432 will become famous soon enoughSeaToSky2432 will become famous soon enough
Smile very nice short story

Reminds me of the Jungle Book.

Keep up the good work.

Fondly,

James
  #6  
Old 12-02-2015, 05:08 PM
Alybun's Avatar
Alybun (Noelle)
Egg
 
Profile:Alybun is offline
Gender:
Number of Budgies: 6
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Enthusiast
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 93
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 103
Rep Power: 6
Alybun will become famous soon enoughAlybun will become famous soon enough
Smile Storytime! On-going Story Thread





"Chirp." A baby budgie calls. No one appears to be around. He is over a few weeks old, but does not have proper wing feathers to fly, nor the skill. Night time approaches and still no signs of any budgie. He has no choice, but to leave.

He peers out of the opening and notes how he is not too high up in the tree [to decline safely. One. Two. Three. Jump! Thud He takes a quick survey around him, no danger, and no food.

He scramble around trying to move across the vast desert. He notices something off in the distance. A... grape vine? Without question he scurries toward the dry vine. He looks up, and is completely shocked to note a peregrine falcon above!

Please don't eat me. He thinks. Slowly he wearily inched toward the vine.

"Cree!" the large bird calls. Terrified, he looks overhead to see that the falcon now has a friend joining it in a hunt for food. He looks over to the vine a sees he's almost there! Trying not to be noticed by the large birds, he crawls to the vine and nibbles on a slightly dry grape and nuzzles against a branch.

"Cree! Cree! Car-reet!" He takes a rain check on the falcons to see... They were leaving! after a long day, he curls up in the vine, his vine.

-Please!!

Last edited by Alybun; 12-02-2015 at 07:07 PM.
  #7  
Old 12-02-2015, 05:20 PM
Therm's Avatar
Member of the Month January 2016

State:
 
Profile:Therm is offline
Gender:
Number of Budgies: 17
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Lover
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Lincs
Posts: 4,995
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 4382
Rep Power: 13
Therm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond repute
Default

This is rather sweet.

Only one thing I'd like to point out is that in the first conversation it goes:
"Rest now little one, there's a storm outside of the box."
"Why not?" he counters.
"Because I love you and you need your rest." She adds as he falls swiftly asleep.


So, the mother bird tells the baby to rest and he answers her saying 'why not'.
In a conversation, that doesn't really make sense, if you know what I mean.
But that's the only thing I have as a 'negative' feedback. It's otherwise very sweet.
__________________
  #8  
Old 12-02-2015, 05:22 PM
Therm's Avatar
Member of the Month January 2016

State:
 
Profile:Therm is offline
Gender:
Number of Budgies: 17
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Lover
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Lincs
Posts: 4,995
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 4382
Rep Power: 13
Therm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond reputeTherm has a reputation beyond repute
Default

I got a sense of jeopardy in this one, which is impressive with a short story.

Perhaps though it may be best to keep posting your short stories in one post. You can detail the type of story at the top of each new message.
it'll be better to have all the stories in one place.

I have to ask though, is this the same budgie as in your other story?
__________________
  #9  
Old 12-02-2015, 05:46 PM
Alybun's Avatar
Alybun (Noelle)
Egg
 
Profile:Alybun is offline
Gender:
Number of Budgies: 6
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Enthusiast
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 93
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 103
Rep Power: 6
Alybun will become famous soon enoughAlybun will become famous soon enough
Talking

Glad you asked! Yes, he is. His official name is InkQuill. I am planning on using him for a long while and maybe add a love interest. I use this Oc (original character) to portray morals I've learned over the years. Some, like this, is hard find the moral. Last, was obviously motherly love. This is good things happen to the best of birds. I guess I try to keep in one thread. I will use this one!

Thank you for the support! I'm trying to do one story per day, but I'm still in school. During the weekends they'll probably be longer.

About InkQuill, His family is alive (as shown in the pilot), but he finds them much later on.


P.S., I also am working with InkQuill in "flipbooks". You can watch them under budgie videos. I'll leave a link to the test, when it's ready. My camera is not the best am I again, am still balancing school. I WILL TRY MY BEST.

Last edited by Alybun; 12-02-2015 at 06:03 PM.
  #10  
Old 12-02-2015, 06:06 PM
Jonah's Avatar
Jonah (Randy)
Servant of The King


State:
 
Profile:Jonah is offline
Gender:
Budgie Experience Level: Budgie Owner
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,970
Gallery: 0
Karma:
Points: 16454
Rep Power: 43
Jonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond reputeJonah has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Wow....good story and what nice artwork too. Very Nice Noelle....
__________________

He came down from Heaven unto this earth below
He came down from glory and praises untold
He came down to man fashioned in their way
He came down to rescue, He came down to save
Closed Thread



Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:51 AM.



Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright © 2000- 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright © 2006 - , 2403 Networks LLC. All rights reserved.