I feel disrespectful that I didn't post something like this for Yuki sooner but I didn't realize this site had a place to post things like this.
Anyway, I wanted to say a proper goodbye to Yuki.
I could never fully explain how bad I felt when I realized that you had gotten so unwell. We took you to the vet asap. It honestly broke my heart when she held you in the towel, you were screaming more than a newborn baby because I had never forced you like that. I felt even worse when the vet diagnosed you with early stages of scaly face. I was happy though, when she took you away for a minute to administer the drugs that would make you all better. We took you home and you were in shock for a day but after that you returned to normal. I was hoping you would start getting better, but exactly a week after your injection you feel extremely ill. I cried for you a lot. I felt horrible coming home and seeing you on the floor of your cage. The next day though, you were fine again, we thought you would have the strength, that you would pull through. It was a huge waiting game and it was up to you to make the moves. I remember saying goodnight to you that night. I was laughing my head off as I readjusted your favorite perch, you kept jumping on my hand and nibbling softly on my fingers; you seemed so alive and happy, so full of love.
I was so sure that night.
That next morning, when my parents came in, to tell me you had gone.
I felt numb.
I remember stroking you, for the last time, stroking those soft feathers,
Feathers of silk.
I stayed home to give you a funeral, just by myself, digging a hole. I put you in a shoe box with your favorite things; millet spray, a note, and the toy,
The toy I spent hours making for you, so that you could play with it for hours,
And you did.
I am still sorry to this day.
Sorry I didn't act sooner,
I didn't take you to the vet until it was too late,
Sorry that I took you to the vet in the first place, because they overdosed on the drugs.
I love you Yuki,
I always have,
I always will,
It makes me smile;
Yuki means happiness,
That is all that you brought me,
Even in your dying hour.
So I think it's time to say goodbye to Yuki,
My little boy that died a day before he turned 6 months old.
You gave me my happiness,
Now you can be free,
To have happiness yourself for all eternity.