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Go Back   Talk Budgies Forums > Budgie Talk > In Memory


In Memory Tributes and Memorials to Budgies which have moved on to the Rainbow Bridge
Thread Description:my budgie suffered because of me

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  #1  
Old 10-06-2013, 07:56 AM
Molosse (Damien)
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Default I'm sorry Citron

October 11th 2012 : My stepbrother came out of jail last year. He has many cats and birds. I went to his place and I met Rocket,
a white and blue female budgie. I love animals, and he notices it. He offers me to take Rocket home.
He thinks all the cats are stressing her and she would feel more at peace without them around. Without any second thoughts, I accept.


October 13th 2012 : I want Rocket to feel like a free bird, so I tried to re-arrange my room. I found some trees that would fit well in here.
I'm keeping the door of her cage open at all time so she can freely move around.


October 21th 2012 : I think that Rocket would be more happy if she had a companion with her. I went to the pet shop, they didn't have much choices.
The owners told me that they would buy only the cheapest birds from their supplier. One male yellow budgie in particular caught my eye though.
He didn'T looked very much active and his fluffed tail looked like it was cut in half. I think I took pity on him, so I bought the little guy and a cage.
Welcome home Citron.


December 19th 2012 : The lenght of Citron's tail almost doubled, i'm so glad. He loves listening to music, it makes him sing.
I've seen him trying to feed Rocket and a mirror. It makes me personificatie him as someone nice and caring. He spends most of his time next to mirrors.


December 21th 2012 : I use a branch to play with Citron and he doesn't seem to detect it when it comes from the left side. When he starts flying around
the room, he screams loudly, as if he was scared, or distressed. Could he be blind from one eye?


January 5th 2013 : Rocket and Citron don't seem to get along very well. Everytime she sees him eating she becomes very aggresive and starts to tantrum.
She's relentlessly pursue him as he tries to avoid her. I decided to let their cages open only one at a time.


Febuary 10th 2013 : I suddenly got woke up during the middle of the night. I could hear Citron's distressed screams. I could hear him flying around the room
and crashing violenly into the walls several times. I opened the lights and start looking for him. I found him on the floor. He was standing, concious but immobile.
I put him back in his cage and closed the door. What the hell just happened?


February 13th 2013 : Citron looks tired. He cannot stand immobile on his perch anymore. As soon as he closes his eyes, his body starts to leaning toward the front
and he waves up immediatly. At night, I can hear him fall on the bottom of his cage, where he can probably sleep a little. His tail is pointing downwards.
I think he broke something...? He doesn't look in pain though. I asked my grandma about broken bones. She told me only time will help. Since I don't have
much money, she suggested me to think twice about avian vets and let Nature do it's thing.
I'll be closing both cages at night from now on.


March 1st 2013 : I think Citron is having something to his vent. It looks like he's constantly trying to wash it, but I can see he's having trouble since
the accident. There's no feathers around it anymore. There a bit of excrement on him. I'll help him wash.


July 9th 2013 : Citron is still looking tired. Time passes and he doesn't seem to get any better. Hmmm... Maybe I can give him something to eat that will help him
recover faster. I don't even know what a budgie can eat, other than seed. I'll check the internet to be sure i won'T give him anything harmful.
What's this? An "only-seed" diet is in fact harmful for a budgie...


August 27th 2013 : I've been giving small pieces of fruits to my budgies. Citron likes apples. He is spending most of his time inside his cage next to his mirror.


Semtember 15th 2013 : Today, as I reached inside Citron's cage to change his food, he got scared and flew off, ramming into a wall at full speed.
He fell on the ground immobile. I put him back in his cage.


Semptember 18th 2013 : Citron hasn't been able to go on his perch since yesterday. There is no more coordination in his movement. I decided to put his food, water
and mirror on the bottom of his cage to help him recover.


September 19th 2013 : Citron slept in his food bowl this night... it can't be healthy.


September 25th 2013 : It's been a week since Citron can't perch. I'm worried. I heard him cry last night.


September 26th 2013 : Citron can't even stand on his feet anymore. He moves around his cage with his body against the ground, as if he was paralyzed.
He hardly can pick anything up from his food bowl. After he manages to grab a seed, he falls on the side trying to munch it. I can't take seeing him like this.


September 27th 2013 : When Citron tries to drink, he chokes on his water. I Tried to clean him, but he looked in pain. I noticed he has a small bump now, near his vent.
His beak started to grow abnormaly over the last month. He's suffering... I can feel he isn't gonna get any better. It's just getting worst.
I keep thinking that I should put him to sleep, but I can't do it myself. I put on his favorite music, I can see his beak... he's trying to sing but no sound is coming out.
I'm going to go to the vet tomorrow...


September 28th 2013 : I've heard Citron cry again this last night. When I woke up, he was dead. His eyes were closed, his corpse was rigid. I buried him behind my house.


He was my friend, he was counting on me to protect him. I let him down. I can't erase those images from my head.
I've spent the last week reading, trying to understand budgies. I've learned a lot about illnesses, tumors, concussions, behaviors, etc...
I've learned how much he suffered too. I can't describe the guilt.

I've red about people too. People like you guys, who been keeping budgies for years, who's been taking care of dozens of budgies at a time.
People who go to avaian vets at the first sing of trouble, people who can make the right choices for their little friends when the time comes.
I can't describe the shame.

I'm so sorry Citron, you never deserved anything like this. ( ;__; )

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  #2  
Old 10-06-2013, 08:05 AM
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I am so sorry. I have made "bad decisions" with some of my pets in the past, and I can't get over the guilt. You did the best you knew how, that's all anyone can do really.
  #3  
Old 10-06-2013, 08:10 AM
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This is very sad, I don't think you intentionally let your budgie go as far as you did. Have you still got Rocket? Please lean from your situation read and ask questions whenever here, the information pages are great and it doesn't cost you anything to read. If you are going to have a budgie you do need to be prepared for the unexpected sometimes, this can mean vets, medications and costly items. they do rely on us for the welfare and health. Please don't feel guilty as your bird indeed have some problems by the sound of things and through your not knowing any different you sadly let it get worse . Remember him with love and smiles you can know put into practice what you know with Rocket. Come back soon.
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Old 10-06-2013, 08:14 AM
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Such a sad note to join us on, I'm so sorry for your loss of dear Citron.

We all understand that you did the best that you knew how to do at the time, and that is all that anyone can ask of you. It almost sounds as if there was an underlying issue before he even came to live with you. Anything from a blocked preen gland to a cyst or a tumour, it's hard to say.

We've been talking about this situation a little at the moment, as it's that time of the year when our precious little ones are vulnerable to illness as they moult and deal with the large change of season from cold to hot or hot to cold.

The important thing is that we keep learning, always learning - reach out, share, ask, read, research. This is how we become better friends to our birds. Not one of us here is perfect, and sometimes our little ones are gone with no warning, no symptoms. That is the peril of caring for something that is so fragile.

Citron's passing too soon and under such stressful circumstances has lead you to want to know more, and this is a very precious gift he's given you and Rocket.

Rest in peace, dear Citron!
  #5  
Old 10-06-2013, 08:32 AM
Molosse (Damien)
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@ Ditta

I thought I knew a lot, but in fact I'm clueless. Sadly, i'm not the one who paid for that arrogance.
I'm sorry to hear about your guilt and I appreciate your kind words, Thank you.

@ PrettyBoy


Yes, I thought budgies were like any other animals, but I've learned how fragile they are. I need to think for them, and not suppose they will act like I suppose they will.
Yes, they do rely on us. We went against Nature by caging them, so now we can't count on Nature to keep them alive. I have to be ready in assuming their well being.
I still have Rocket.
She looks healthy, but birds hide illness.
I noticed she's been very selective with what she eats in her bowl. She looks annoyed with something too, i can'T tell what, so i understand that something is wrong.
I don'T think I can afford a companion for her, mentaly and money-wise, so i'll use what I have to take her to the vet instead and for her well-being.
Thank you for your support and your wise words.
  #6  
Old 10-06-2013, 08:43 AM
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You can try to get Rocket to eat some vegies, start with broccoli, snow peas, spinach also you can use some garlic powder just a small sprinkle every now and then on the seeds and get some apple cider vinegar it has to have mother in it, put a couple of drops in the drinking wqter this will help with stomach problems. If you can post us a picture we could have a look at Rocket for you as well.
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Old 10-06-2013, 09:07 AM
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I'm very sorry for your loss, try not to beat yourself up too much over it.
Now you know what to do in order to keep your remaining budgie safe. And you learnt a valuable lesson and can make a change for the better when it comes to your other budgie, Rocket and possibly other birds you would potentially open your heart to when the time is right.
I suggest you go through this forum's stickies once you feel better. It has all the information you need to know on budgie care.
You can honour your sweet Citron's life by taking the best care possible of Rocket and your other future pets.
Rest in peace, Citron. You will be missed.
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You are missed and never will be forgotten.
  #8  
Old 10-06-2013, 09:10 AM
Molosse (Damien)
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@ wiki

Now that I know a bit more, yes i do think so too, he maybe already had an issue.
Back then , when I saw him in the shop, I thought he was depressed or that other budgies were picking on him, or an accident or something. I never thought about illness.
He gave me a very precious gift. I'm very thankful, but very sad at the same time. I just wish he didn't have to suffer so much for that.
Thank you for your support

Last edited by Molosse; 10-07-2013 at 11:18 PM.
  #9  
Old 10-06-2013, 09:35 AM
Molosse (Damien)
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@ Aluz

You're right. The only thing I can do now is to take good care of Rocket.
I will keep reading on the subject and keep learning.
I'll honor Citron the best I can. I know he wanted the best for her, the way he acted.
Thank you for your words of encouragement.

@ PrettyBoy

Thanks for the tips, I will give her all that good stuff.
I like your idea. I don't have any kind of camera or scanner. I'll try to get a cheap disposable camera or something and go to a stationary.
  #10  
Old 10-06-2013, 03:43 PM
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I am sorry to hear of the tragic loss of Citron.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and allows us to learn from our mistakes. This doesn't mean you need to focus on the "what I could have done" but also what you "did do". You provided Citron with a loving home and cared for him to the best of your ability.

It is normal to feel guilty too, but it is important that you turn that guilt into positive actions. Since then you have taken the time to become more knowledgeable and have found the wonderful world of TB. I am sure you are now using that information to improve Rockets quality of life. These are all good things and worthy of commendation.

I wish you and Rocket all the best and hope we see more of you around the forum.

Fly high little Citron.
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