Dear Lynan Indigo:
Thank you for your support. I feel I'm not alone when I find friends who identify with me cause they have been through a loss, like you.
I have to confess you, that even though time has passed I wish things could have been different but whenever I think about Novi I smile. I bought a Minion's USB where i hold all my memories from Novi and also from my second baby budgie. I have shown Noviluz
(my recent budgie) the photograph and also the feathers from Novi, and she likes her. I loved Novi with all my heart and I will always remember her. Somehow this baby budgie is pretty similar but different in her behavior. Noviluz is a 1 month and a half budgie and she loves to snuggle and hide in my hair. Something that I found new, pretty cute and tender.
Novi is near my room, I buried under a beautiful plant named cyclamen. Unfortunately I watered too much and got filled with insects. I have solved that issue and my plant is recovering. Its so important to me to maintain my little cyclamen alive as it hold the heart and soul from Novi. I will do the best to take care of my two babies.
I still hold guiltiness. I'm working on that. I feel guilty because sometimes I keep thinking about the things that I could have done differently to avoid the accident. People tells me it was written. I need to do the memorial for Novi. Sometimes I think If only I had taken that day a cab instead of a bus Novi wouldn't have gotten dizzy and I would be more awake and wouldn't have encountered on the stairs so then Novi wouldn't have flown from the top of her cage and smash with the wall but it happen and I wish it hadn't happen. I'm in the healing path but I really don't know how to close the chapter. you know what I mean? Somehow I can not buried loved ones and struggle with losses. that's still a problem for me.
Sometimes I feel guilty about haven't spend money on a cab and decide to go in a bus to save money, and haven't thought about if an accident happen where could the closest veterinary be.
So as I think it was a money issue, now I want to spend a great deal of money on her memorial, making several personalized objects with her picture on it.
I know I have to keep working on this, I'm really thankful with all the my friends from this forum, who where here and available to read my story
God bless you