This is not the ordinary kind of post I see others writing here, but I am hoping it's okay that I post this never the less. I wasn't sure exactly where to post it, but feel free to move it should this not be apropriate. I am in the process of grieving, and sort of have a need to process it all. I used to be very active here, and I want to explain my sudden disapperance to all you lovely people out here, as well as remember the days of joy with my flock, and just reflect on how much I miss them all.
I have been keeping budgies all my life and been a breeder just for a few years, which made me realize just how much I care for the little ones. But sadly, it all changed overnight. My boyfriend and I broke up after 7 years. Mutual and non-dramatic, but never the less, it took a toll on us after such a long time. As a result, we had to move out of our old home, as we were renting and none of us could find a room-mate nor manage the rent on our own. As a young student living far away from her family, with massive student loans and a poor-paying job on the side, my options were limited, and there was simply no way I could find somewhere that would allow pets. My ex had no interest in keeping any of them either, so I had no choice but to do the next best thing I could for them; finding new, loving homes.
For all of them.
One by one, I watched the little creatures I had put so much love and so many years into raising, go to carefully picked individuals for a symbolic sum of money. Some went in pairs, others went to meet new budgies and some even went to live in aviaries elsewhere. Honestly, I was really happy about the people I found to take them in, but at the same time, I felt lost.
A few weeks ago, I said goodbye to the last of my little chicks, Leo, the youngest of the last clutch, and the last budgie I bred before this happened. He developed splayed legs as his mom loved to sit on just him, and I spent 5 weeks correcting his legs until he was good as new. Seeing him go, was especially hard, since I had put so much love and effort into his particular case because of his handicap.
At the end of the day, I saw all 13 of my winged babies go in a matter of 5 days. I now live crammed in a tiny attic apartment, doing my best in progressing my studies and working on the side. I'm doing well, I really am. But nothing is the same. I miss their constant chirping and antics. I miss snuggling them after a long day in class or at work. And I miss the void they left in my heart when I had to give them all up.
My little ones has come a long way, and spread out all around the area of which I live in. When I think of it like that, it's sort of a comfort, like they left their nests to explore the outside world without their mom. But just like any mom, I will always remember and love my little balls of fluff, and cherish the years we had together. You have not seen the last of me, as I will spend some time here even though I no longer have budgies of my own. And one day, a lovely day sometime in the future, I will resume my life as it should be lived, with a few lovely, new bundles of fluff at my side.
So, Toki, Lycke, Yoshi, Snow, Fluffy, Boo, Peachy, Cass, Dita, Dexter, Sky, Kuro and Leo... Thank you all so much. I wish you all have a wonderful life in your new homes, and I will miss you dearly.
Last edited by FluffyFeather; 01-25-2016 at 08:34 PM.
Tina I'm so sorry to read of your sad news. You are very brave and did a wonderful thing in putting your birdies first. I'm glad you were able to find them all homes that you are happy with and I hope knowing that they will continue to be loved will provide comfort to you. Perhaps you could invite the new owners on to the forum and it could be a way to hear regular updates on how they are all going?
There will be much brighter days ahead for you and you will come through this difficult time as a much stronger person.
Such an emotional post - I can only imagine how you're feeling
Sorry you had to make such hard decisions, but it was for the best of everybody involved.
Concentrate on finishing your studies but you'll always have wonderful memories of your flock.
My heart goes out to you at this very difficult time.
Your choice to post in the "In Memory" section is perfect.
Although your budgies have all gone to good homes, it is natural for you to go through a mourning period as you work to adjust to your life without them.
I'm so sorry things worked out such that you had to give them up and am truly thankful you found safe and loving homes for everyone of them. Doing so exhibits just what a kind and compassionate, loving Budgie Mom you are.
Thinking of your budgies spreading their little wings and flying off to explore the world without their Mom is a very healthy way to view the situation and truly shows your inner strength and courage.
You are always welcome on the forums and I hope the day will come in the not too distant future when you will again be able to enjoy the companionship of a lucky little budgie.
If you need or want to talk at any time, please feel free to contact me via Private Message.
Tina, what an emotionally draining period you have had. Your flock are forever with you in your memories and heart. It must of been so hard for you to let them go like that. But it shows the tremendous amount of love and care you also had for them all in doing this.
I truly hope things start to improve for you soon please call in and say hello to us all. One step at a time each day will slowly bring forth positive outcomes for you I am sure. Take care
I can see clearly though your words what torture it was to let your babies go.
Sometimes it's harder to knowingly give up your babies than feeling they were able to pass on in peace after a long, full life with you, but remember that sorrow is love transformed into something so powerful and strong it connects those who feel they will never see each other again.
Your whole flock may be gone, but they will never leave the special spots you kept for them in your heart, not while you keep your memories of them close.
There is not any light in the world that would be needed unless there was darkness, so as grief stricken and devastated you are after all that's happened, there's a light out there somewhere that will shine even brighter.
Stay strong, you have my warmest thoughts in your time of mourning
and Princess Mallorn!
Thank you to Deb for her wonderful Faery magic
I'm very sorry to hear this and can only imagine what you're going through.
You did well in finding good, loving homes for your flock where they all get the chance of leading their lives happily and making their new families happy in return. Even though it's difficult, try to take comfort in the fact that your flock is healthy and will be well taken care off by their new families.
I hope with time and as you adjust to this new reality, you will start to feel better. And one day, when you have your own home and are financially stable, you can again have some budgie friends to brighten your life once more.
RIP sweet Tito (Summer 2008 - January 17th 2013).
You are missed and never will be forgotten.
There are just no words that can fill your empty spot. But I hope the comfort you get knowing you did what is the best for your feathered babies eases the pain you are going thru. One thing I was thinking is that you know who they are with...and you can go visit them. I am sure they will remember you after all the love you have given them. My heart breaks for you right now. I hope you will be able to study hard, finish school, move into a bigger place and rebuild your flock. Sunday my pastor was talking about how God never gives us more than we can take. This shows you are a very strong person and will be stronger for it. I have said a little prayer for you for strength and peace.
Thanks a lot, all of you, for your lovely words and kindness. I really appreciate it! Knowing my birds are healthy and in good homes is a wonderful comfort, but still the transition from having so many birds for such a long time, to having none and living in someones attic, is quite drastic. It feels really lonely despite the fact that I'm 24 years old, especially since my family is so far away, so I don't have many people to turn to. But it means a lot to me that I was able to reach out to you lovely people on here, and get the sort of response I got. It really helps! So I can't thank you enough for that ^^
Also, I got into contact with the breeder I sent three of my adult ladies to, as he wanted to use them for breeding, and asked if I could message him in the future when I wanted to resume having birds. He said he kept track of the genes of all of his offspring, so when the time comes, I can buy a few chicks from him that are descendants from my original ladies. This is just an amazing thing, and I really hope I will be able to do that. It feels as if they won't ever really leave
Again, thank you, all of you! I will be working hard to achieve my degree in radiology in the meantime, and expect to see me around
I cannot imagine the ache of your heart, yet know that you have given others opportunities to love your little ones. I just pray this is just a short period in your life that cannot avail itself to your immediate care of the budgies. I just feel so sad for you ,but I also think when you do get around to finding that chance to surround yourself with a bird family that it will be even better.Please keep checking in because your experience with the birds will be special and very helpful. Hoping times will improve for you very soon.