It's hard to even write this because I still can't believe it's true... My dear Pero is not here anymore.
She was a really timid and sweet bird. She came into my life in April 2014 after I lost one budgie and the other one was left all alone. I was not ready for a new bird after losing the previous one but I had no choice because my other budge was so sad to be alone. And so I got Pero. I thought she was a male at first but soon it was obivious it's one big curious lady bird
After Pero, we got two more birdies but I always felt special bond to her because she was always more sensitive and more timid than the rest of them and she trusted me completely.
Anyway, exactly one week ago I noticed she was not looking good but I refused to believe there was anything major wrong. Before that she looked fine but in retrospective... Couple of time after the molt she would use all her flight feathers and couldn't fly, I have no idea if this was related to anything but it seemed strange.
After that first time she showed signs of illness she looked terrible one minute and fine the next so I was perplexed. Soon she was straining to poop and had really dirt vent. I thought maybe it was an egg so I decided to take her to the vet. By the symptoms the vet also suspected an egg but when he held her he told me that she was really really skinny. I was shocked because she was always much heavier than the rest of my birds and I was really disappointed for not noticing this. He told me he would put her on IV and that we should do an xray scan.
So the next day I took her to do an xray. I was so scared and she was scared, I wanted to comfort her but I couldn't. The scan was terrible. They took her and spread her wings and held her while scanning, she was terrified. I almost cried when I saw this.
After the scan, she seemed worse than ever, probably because of the huge shock she just had and she got all fluffed up and closed her eyes. I could see she was petrified. The results of the scan left me in tears...
My sweet little bird had some mass in her whole abdomen, not a single organ was visible, just this strange mass that was pressing on all her organs. Vet told me it was surprising she could function at all considering her state. He told me it was impossible to operate because of the size and her general condition and that there is nothing we can do. He was uncertain if it was a tumor or some other tissue but anyway it was eating her from the inside and suggested the most humane thing to do is to put her to sleep. I cried together with the nurse and looked at my budgie. I wanted to take her and run away but I could see she was almost too weak to stand and in pain so I agreed. I couldn't bear seeing her dead body so they put her to sleep after I said my goodbyes and left.
It's so strange without her and I keep thinking if I could've done more, could I help her more, could I cuddle her more...
Everyone in my family told me "she was just a bird" and to stop talking about her at that I'm not "supposed" to feel this bad... But she was not just a bird. She was mine bird. She was just a baby when we got her and I cared for her all these years. I thought we would share many more together...
I'm still crying.
RIP my sweet timid baby bird
My dear Pero
State: 
