[StarlingWings]

Hello, subjects. It's Princess Mallorn who speaks to you today. I wished to express my distaste of the current rising population of peasant birds who dare enter my kingdom uninvited and refuse to pledge any sort of servitude while altogether being serf-like.

Oh, and my mum doesn't know about this, so don't tell her, because she thinks that Princesses should love and welcome all their subjects. I do welcome them! But they annoy me. (A.K.A that one Diamond Dove Tilda)
So here's what I say:

All the peasants, feathered or scaly
All the peasants must be checked out
All the peasants must bow down to me
Because I am the Princess throughout

All the peasants are welcome
Although they, the peasants, are lesser
All the peasants, to me they should come
To assure me that I am their better

All the peasants who want to live here
From the birds outside, to the fish
All the peasants, from the doves to the reindeer
(Who on Christmas bring me their gifts)

All the peasants, all the serfs
Bow down to the one true Princess
My mum loves me, which I deserve
But I say, all the others, it's me they address!
​

 

[StarlingWings]

Ummmm, Princess Mallorn....
Excuse me, but may I address you?

Thank you for your permission.

I just want to say.... I think your Mom is gonna be pretty upset when she reads what you wrote.

Whoops, gotta go -- Skipper's calling me now. Bye!

xoxo
Scooter

Hello Scooter! I think she's going to be very fussy about it as usual, but that's her job. To fuss. How annoying. Does your Mum ever fuss and scold?

It's lovely to hear from you!

 

[StarlingWings]

:laughing:

"How dare you laugh at Princess Mallorn! Such insolence will no stand, to the guillotine!":bowrofl:

This is true. But I'll make an exception this time!

Do you think we could come visit you in your kingdom if we bring appropriate gifts? Maybe if she misses us for awhile then she'll be nicer.

Your loyal servant (and knight)
Sir Scooter

My mum won't let me near the chandelier! She says that I'm not allowed to sit on it because I poop on the table where she eats

Oh well, there's always the violin to abuse.
You'd be welcome in my kingdom anytime! Goodness knows I could use a few more handsome knights to help me with the other birds!

Maybe she'll even realize she'd rather have you sitting on the chandelier and pooping than not being there at all! Mum gets her birdies back, you get the chandelier back, everybirdie wins!

 

[StarlingWings]

Hello Noah,

It sounds like you've trained your parents very well, my mum is pretty trained, too. My mum can't feed me anything, apparently. Even though everything she eats looks fit for a princess, she doesn't let me have sweets or other things either

That is a good strategy. She can't ban me from everything--I mean, it is my kingdom, after all.