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Lili’s Taming and Update Thread (ongoing)

203 Views 5 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  StarlingWings
So we had Lili for a moth now and she seems not tamed yet...I tried go as the tutorial says but it was working until I woke up and she seems like she never even remember that I was taming her.. it's usually like this I put my hand in her cage 1-5 time a day for 5-10 minutes per session after that she even let me to pet her...later I try to tech her how to go on finger and after that I leave the doors open on the cage budgie proof a room and let her out for a flight...but everytime it's a next day it's like the progress didn't save...and I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. 😓

If anyone could help me with this I would really appreciate it and love you so muchh 🙏😭
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Try to look at it, not as the bonding process has been forgotten the next day. She is testing you to make sure you're safe. Budgies are a prey animal. Since in the wild, they are food for other animals, it will take many more sessions to prove to her you don't want to hurt her. A month is a very short amount of time. Don't loose heart 💗! When you read of others forming a bond quickly, know this is unusual. That she's letting you pet her is a good thing! Keep the pets around the area of the head and cheek area. Touching the back can set off a sexual response. Try to think of it as forming a friendship. When we humans meet a new person, we don't tell them our deepest secrets until we know they can be trusted 😊. Slow and steady, and at her pace. She will eventually learn that you are quite wonderful, but it can take a long time. Don't give up and you will be rewarded with an amazing little companion!
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A month is hardly any time.
You need to slow down and stop expecting her to act as you want her to.

It takes a long time for some budgies to learn to trust a human.

Think about how you’d feel if a scary giant wanted to play with you and hold you on its hand.

Most budgies do not like to be touched or petted. You have to respect Lili’s timeline and boundaries.
Bonding is allowing Lili to chose to be with you.

Go slowly. Remain calm and be patient.

Any additional questions or updates about Lili should be posted in this thread.
Its best to keep all your concerns in one easy place to access.
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Try to look at it, not as the bonding process has been forgotten the next day. She is testing you to make sure you're safe. Budgies are a prey animal. Since in the wild, they are food for other animals, it will take many more sessions to prove to her you don't want to hurt her. A month is a very short amount of time. Don't loose heart 💗! When you read of others forming a bond quickly, know this is unusual. That she's letting you pet her is a good thing! Keep the pets around the area of the head and cheek area. Touching the back can set off a sexual response. Try to think of it as forming a friendship. When we humans meet a new person, we don't tell them our deepest secrets until we know they can be trusted 😊. Slow and steady, and at her pace. She will eventually learn that you are quite wonderful, but it can take a long time. Don't give up and you will be rewarded with an amazing little companion!
This is the best response I could ever get thank you soo much..🙏I will try my best to be her the best friend ever ❤

A month is hardly any time.
You need to slow down and stop expecting her to act as you want her to.

It takes a long time for some budgies to learn to trust a human.

Think about how you’d feel if a scary giant wanted to play with you and hold you on its hand.

Most budgies do not like to be touched or petted. You have to respect Lili’s timeline and boundaries.
Bonding is allowing Lili to chose to be with you.

Go slowly. Remain calm and be patient.

Any additional questions or updates about Lili should be posted in this thread.
Its best to keep all your concerns in one easy place to access.
****...I was really blinded by the internet abou taming a budgie in a month..I should have realized it sooner..THANK YOUU 😁❤
From now on I will be even the most patient person ever 🙏
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This is the best response I could ever get thank you soo much..🙏I will try my best to be her the best friend ever ❤


****...I was really blinded by the internet abou taming a budgie in a month..I should have realized it sooner..THANK YOUU 😁❤
From now on I will be even the most patient person ever 🙏
Excellent! You have the right approach now. I've been working with my Sweetie for 10 months or so now and he still does not necessarily want to be touched/petted. However! He definitely loves me! He is bonded to me. Being touched is NOT part of what HE wants out of our bond. What he wants is my love and attention and care. He wants me to sing with him, get goofy and dance all around the room, he wants me to interact with his toys, he likes me to blow on him gently sometimes while he's at the edge of the cage looking at me lovingly. He wants me to introduce him to new budgie safe experiences and objects. He wants me to keep his space clean and tidy and offer him his favorite foods (in moderation :LOL:). He wants me to include him in my everyday activities, which I do by talking to him about what I'm doing - - such as when getting his meals ready I have a funny little song I sing about it that goes "youuuu got the food....gotta get that food" in the style of "we got the funk". When I'm cleaning up the kitchen and the water is on I whistle while I work or talk to him about cleaning up. Because we do these routines over and over, he actually does know what I'm saying and doing at this point. :giggle:

I have always spoken to him clearly and of course have repeated many phrases and words. I also show him videos of birds who say words themselves. Just recently, he said his own first words and now he is constantly babbling and has about 15 words and phrases. This is something that formed out of our bond! You cannot force a bird to say words, he just did it all on his own because he wants to talk to me and others in his flock. I really never knew how adorable him speaking words would be and it is clear now that all the millions of things I said to him before he ever spoke were remembered by him as he built up his understanding and vocabulary within himself.

Good luck and be patient with you bestie friend!
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You've been given great advice. The most important thing to remember is that every budgie is an individual, and the only way to earn their trust and build a bond is to always go at their pace, and never rush them. Patience, love, and respect are key. Hanging out with her in the same room, talking to her, sitting by her cage, reading to her, involving her in your life in every way possible WITHOUT forcing her out of her comfort zone will tell her the message that you are her flock member and that she can trust you.

Every day, you've been rushing her and trying to go from stepping up to petting, all in one day. This is a process that can take months!! Even putting your hand OUTSIDE of the cage on the bars should be done before, slowly and surely, every day consistently, so she knows what to expect, isn't frightened by you and can gradually learn to trust you. After a long time, she'll be more comfortable in her cage even if you hand is on the outside of the cage. Then you can put your hand in the cage, just rest it there so she can see it, and do that a few times a day for a long time, weeks or months. You slowly proceed from there, always making sure she knows that you aren't going to frighten her, taking as much time as she needs until she opens up around you and doesn't mind your presence. You don't have to touch her to build a bond, either. As mentioned above, while you work on getting her used to your hand over the next few months, you should involve her in your life, talk to her, sing to her, etc. as mentioned above. She will become more comfortable over time!

As Sweety's mom said above, a bond can look like a lot of different things. Comparing your progress to things you see on the internet is counterproductive because it not only never shows the whole picture (some birds are "submissive" out of fear and not because they are trusting of their human :( ) but it also doesn't accurately represent your Lili and what her personality is like (y)

Don't give up! You've got this~
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